Gender-Benders Anonymous!

by Eddie Glover

"You'll learn not to fuck around on me now!", my girlfriend Gina snapped.

"I didn't! Jean's just a friend!", I said in explanation.

She chanted and I prepared for something decidedly nasty, after all Gina is a full-fledged witch!

"I'll leave you to your change James, sort of a reverse Cinderella!", she laughed.

I groaned and plopped into the easy chair, at least that meant I had until midnight before the change occured.

I checked the clock again at 11:59 P.M., steeling myself for a change into a cat or something. But when the clock struck midnight I stayed human, although I did change!

I watched my chest begin to inflate into breasts in fascination! The feeling of having these jiggling, fleshy mounds growing on my chest was so utterly strange! Then I felt the pain kick in as my groin exploded in agony. My male genitals weren't disappearing....they were altering in form! I could only stare at my rapidly forming vagina, hoping that Gina hadn't decided to screw me over more so than usual. Apparently she thought I'd be horrified by my change into a beautiful woman....but strangely I wasn't. I'm not gay, nor have I ever even thought of wanting to be a woman...but this felt so wild!!!

After a few hours of...ahem!...self-exploration I was struck by a thunderbolt...I mean a real thunderbolt!

As I lay stunned, and amazed that I wasn't dead, I saw a woman form before me, in fact it looked like

Marilyn Monroe!!

"Hello there, sorry about the dramatic entrance...er..and the roof..", the woman looked up at the ceiling and I followed her gaze.

"What!? You blew a hole through my freaking roof!", I screamed in rage.

"I'm sorry, look I'll have it repaired....my treat!", she grinned.

"Damn right!", I snapped. Suddenly I realized that I was bitching about my roof to a woman who'd appeared out of nowhere!

"Here's my card James, I'm sure you'll understand why I've come after you see it.", she said pleasantly.

I took the small card she offered and gaped, "Gender-benders anonymous!?", I was confused....just a LITTLE bit!

She opened her blouse and took out a piece of paper, "Actually we just call it the GBA, we have quite an extensive membership!", she said.

"So you mean all of them are guys....turned into women!?", I gasped.

"Oh yes!", Marilyn chuckled, "We all have different reasons for our feminine status, sometimes it's permanent...sometimes not. I myself was bitten..sort of a lycanthropy curse.", she explained.

"Wait a minute!", I groaned. My head was beginning to hurt from all this weirdness, "Are you saying

that you're....a were-Marilyn Monroe!!!?", I couldn't believe I'd even said it.

"Yep!", she grinned, "Have been for a long time too, I'm actually a senator but under the full moon, like tonight, I become Marilyn!", she giggled.

I groaned and turned, only to fall over due to the unfamiliar feeling of my hips. I had no sense of balance at all!

"Come on James, the girls are waiting.", she said while helping me up.

The next thing I know I'm standing on a stage before.....damn!....before at least a hundred women. Some seem pretty normal...others are mermaids swimming in tanks!

"Introduce yourself!", Marilyn said while pushing me up to the mike.

"Uh....my name is James...and I was a man.", I said in confusion.

"Hi James!", the assembled throng calls back.

I rolled my eyes, this was like a AA meeting, only with a lot of T & A!.

I stood on stage before the ladies of this weird support group feeling very....well...weird!

"How did it happen buddy?", a blonde in a Chicago Bulls uniform asked. She looked remarkably like Anna Nicole Smith from the Playboy shoots.

"My girlfriend is a witch...", then I realized that maybe I shouldn't be telling them this, "Uh...I mean...", I stammered.

A pretty little ten-year old girl smirked, "Ain't that how it happened to most of us!". She was smoking one of the most disgusting cigars and seemed to be reading the Sporting News!

"Mort's got a point there James.", a tall woman...Wonder Woman!?....said.

"What the hell!?", I gasped at this living, and quite well endowed version of a comic book character, "You look just like...", she waved a hand before I could finish my observation.

"My ex did this. I read a LOT of Wonder Woman comics. You see my wive wasn't a witch but a full-fledged sorceress. She turned herself into this form quite often when we made love, but after a while this is all I wanted her to be. She got pissed at me one night and zapped me into a real-life Wonder Woman, minus the superpowers of course. She left me alone and turned into a woman, if Senator Crowley hadn't found me I don't know what I might have done!", she explained.

"Senator Hal Crowley!", I exclaimed while turning to Marilyn, "You're the guy who was going to run for President!?", I was stunned.

She smiled, "Yep. But I figured that my Magic Bill might get shot down if Congress knew that I was a were-Marilyn!", she laughed.

"Magic Bill?", I asked in confusion.

"It's a secret bill backed by many who suffer like me, and by most of the witches, wizards, and sorcerers of the U.S.", she explained.

"Enough with the chatter!", Mort, the little girl with the cigar, snarled, "Let's hear from the new guy!".

I groaned, "This is all too weird for me! Can I just talk later or something?", I asked.

"Sure James, don't feel like you have to talk about it if you don't want to!", 'Marilyn' said.

I wandered into the crowd, still naked, and noticed that many of the ladies wanted to talk anyway.

This promised to be a strange night.

I have to admit, curiousity got the better of me as I walked amidst these women. They all wanted to talk about my change, and I was intrigued to find out about theirs!

I approached the little girl, Mort. She put down her Sporting News for a moment then frowned, "Yeah, can I help ya?".

I was looking at a girl who couldn't be more than ten smoking a cigar! She was wearing a Grateful Dead tie-dye and shorts and looked like some pre-teen hippie! She smirked at my stunned expression.

"Name's Morton Dimmer.", she said while extending a small hand, "I'm not really this young!", she laughed.

I managed to withhold a laugh then managed, "I never would have guessed!".

"Hey! It's no fun being a ten-year old brat all summer! I'd rather be a babe like you than a kid!", she snapped in annoyance.

"How did it happen?", I asked in fascination. "I'm a teacher. It turns out one of my students five years ago was a powerful magic-user. She got pissed at me when I failed her in History and cursed me. Now every year I turn into a ten-year old girl the day after school ends and back into myself the day before school starts. It seriously meeses us my love-life!", she sighed.

"I can imagine!", I whistled.

"Hello James, I didn't get to introduce myself earlier!", Wonder Woman said pleasantly.

"Let me guess, Diana?", I smirked.

She chuckled, "Not quite. I'm Trevor Turner!", she said while shaking my hand.

She was an Amazon all right! She had to stand six four in her heels! "Doesn't be stuck like...that...bother you!?", I asked in wonder. "Not as much anymore, it's been a few years since my change. I'm a fitness instructor downtown, and I've...adjusted!", she shrugged.

"Whoops! Gotta go everybody, tip-off's at noon tomorrow!", the Anna Nicole clone said while running out.

"Tip-off!?", I gasped, "Don't tell me she plays for the real Bulls!". "John? Sure! He's their best outside shooter!", Mort said in her little girl voice.

"John Ferguson!? The three-point champ!?", I nearly howled. "Yep!", Crowley/Marilyn laughed as she walked up, "She's got a similar affliction to mine!".

"A were-Anna Nicole Smith! Why not!?", I laughed in near insanity from all the weirdness.

"Now, now James!", Marilyn snapped, "There's no reason to be so rude. It's perfectly explainable!", she said calmly.

"Oh yeah! Then explain it!", I snapped.

"Very well.", she frowned, "In both our cases we were bitten by the original.", she explained.

"How does that explain it, surely you're not telling me that Marilyn Monroe and Anna Nicole Smith were both guys!", I yelled.

"Surely not!", she laughed, "But they were magically transformed. Didn't you ever notice how different Marilyn was from before she came to Hollywood? They both had witches give them sensual bodies...well more sensual anyway. It was just a small problem for them about full moons. You see under a full moon magic is hard to control. When I had sex with Marilyn she bit into my shoulder slightly, not enough for me to even notice. But the magic that made her what she was infected me. I was one of her bodyguards so I was there on the next full moon...when I changed for the first time!", she laughed.

I was fascinated, he'd been bitten by the actual Marilyn Monroe! But wait..that meant..., "You've been a were-Marilyn since the early sixties!!?", I gasped.

"Yep!", she chuckled, "You should have seen my face when I changed! I was so stunned that I just stood there before her as I changed! Marilyn watched me turn into her in shock then called somebody. Turns out she called the witch who'd changed her in rage about my change. She made sure I was taken care of...until..", she turned away for a moment as tears formed in her eyes.

"Sorry Crowley, I can only imagine how her death hurt you.", I soothed.

She smiled then looked at her watch, "Well we've got to get you home James, I think your girlfriend's spell is designed to wear off at dawn. She probably just wanted to scare you!", she smirked.

"One more thing Crowley!", I asked, "How the hell did you appear in a thunderbolt!?".

She clicked her fingers and we were back at my house....having appeared in a flash of lightning! Unfortunetly she'd blown yet another hole in my roof!

As Crowley had predicted I was a man again when the sun rose. And Gina walked in about an hour later. She started to smirk at me until she looked up and saw two huge holes in the roof!

"What happened to the roof James!?", she gasped. I frowned, "Well, I'm not really sure how but a....friend of mine turned herself into a thunderbolt and blasted through the roof....twice.", I explained.

"Another witch!?", she gasped, "I didn't know you knew anybody else like me!".

"Well...she's not like you. In fact she's not even a she...well most of the time anyway!", I laughed.

"What the hell are you talking about!?", she snapped in annoyance. "I was visited last night after you turned me into a woman. Her name was Crowley, only she looked like Marilyn Monroe...anyway she took me to a meeting of Gender Benders Anonymous. They were a whole group of guys like me, well girls at the time!", I said, hoping she wouldn't think I was just plain nuts.

"I thought there seemed to be a lot of magical residue on you when I came in! So exactly what did you guys...girls do?", she asked with a grin.

"Well I only actually talked to a few, it seems their ex-wives or girlfriends all zapped them like you did me...only permanently for some of them!", I whistled.

"So you see, I'm not so bad!", she laughed, "I only turned you into a woman for one night!".

"You still don't think I screwed Jean do you?", I asked her. "No. I went to talk with her while you had your night as a babe. She told me you never even flirted with her, not that she didn't try to draw your interest!", she smirked.

"What did you do to her?", I groaned.

"Oh she's all right! I even left her a litter box!", she laughed loudly.

"You turned her into a cat!?", I gasped. "For a day anyway. She'll think it was all some demented nightmare when she wakes up tomorrow, although I imagine it will curb her lust for you!", Gina was giggling uncontrollably.

"Tonight is a full moon again, isn't it?", I asked suddenly. "Yes. Wait a minute are you thinking what I think you're thinking!?", she gasped.

"Gina, you've got to turn me into a woman again tonight! I had a great time talking to all of them, hell I could write a book with all their stories!", I laughed.

"Wait...you WANT me to turn you into a woman!?", she was clearly stunned by this.

"Just on full moons babe, that is when Crowley holds her meetings!", I laughed.

While I was waiting for the day to end I decided to drive downtown to the gym. I was looking for a certain fitness trainer, and there was no doubt when I spotted her...all six foot three of her!

I goosed the woman then laughed when she spun around...until I saw that it wasn't Trevor! This wasn't the Wonder Woman looking guy I'd met last night!

After I picked myself up off the ground, minus my pride, I saw Trevor leaning on the counter trying not to laugh herself sick.

"Smooth move James!", she laughed.

"How could you know me, I'm a different gender than the last time you saw me!?", I asked.

"You look the same, kind of like a male twin.", she explained, "Apparently your girlfriend just turned you into the woman you might have been.".

"You look good in a leotard!", I chuckled. "Quit drooling asshole!", she laughed, "Some of us have to live as women ALL the time!".

"You going to the meeting tonight?", I asked. "Of course!", she chuckled, "I didn't expect to see you there though.".

"I'm going to have my wife turn me into a woman again, last night was a blast!", I explained.

"Diana! Get your ass to your one o'clock class!", a man snarled. I watched Trevor bite back a retort then she waved as she went back to work.

"Can you teach me magic?", I asked Gina as we ate dinner early. "I'm a witch James, my magic only works for women!", she growled. "So! You can turn me into a woman and I'll be able to use it!", I said reasonably.

She pondered on that then went and returned with a book she used when spell-casting.

"Here, read this tomorrow. It gives you details on how to create a spell, but I'll have to show you how to really USE magic!", she chuckled.

"What a grand idea!", Crowley laughed as she appeared, having remembered to come through one of the existing holes this time.

"James!?", Gina asked in confusion, "Who is this!? Wait.. you must be Crowley!", she gasped.

The Marilyn looking Senator bowed, setting her large breasts to jiggling, "And you must be Gina, James talked quite a bit about you. I must say you are even more lovely than he described!", she said while kissing Gina's hand.

Gina smirked, "You must be a man! And a charmer at that!", she laughed.

"Senator Crowley, at your service!", Crowley/Marilyn giggled while bowing again.

"Are you coming tonight James?", she asked me. "Gina?", I asked her silently.

She chanted for a moment and I began to change, only this time I wasn't just turning into a female me! I gasped as my hair turned platinum blonde and lengthened to my shoulders. My shirt began to bulge as huge breasts swelled underneath! They made the ones I'd had last night look like a little girl's! My shirt and pants both lost their battles to contain my breasts, hips, and ass at the same time. I raced to the bedroom and looked in the mirror, only so see the image of a stripper I'd went to see a few months ago!

"Gina! What the hell!?", I snarled while running back into the room. She chuckled, "You wanted to be a woman, now you're one hell of a babe!".

Crowley smirked, "My dear Gina you are a woman after my own heart!". "Crowley!", I snapped, "She's turned me into a stripper!". "It could be worse my friend.", the Marilyn Crowley mused. Crowley teleported us away with her thunderbolt trick, leaving Gina staring at a THIRD hole in the roof!

When we reappeared in the meeting hall I had a question that just had to be asked.

"Crowley? Are you a witch or something?", I asked. She smirked, "Or something. Let's just say that I've had plenty of time to learn some very strange things!", she chuckled.

"Jesus Crowley!", Mort whistled, "Where'd ya find that babe!?", the seeming child asked.

"It's James Mort.", I sighed, "My wife decided to play a joke on me when I asked her to transform me again. So now I look like a stripper!", I groaned.

"A fellow stripper!", a HUGE breasted woman laughed as she jiggled over, "Pleased to meet you, my name's Dave!", she said while shaking my hand.

"Pissed off girlfriend?", I asked.

She chuckled, "I wish! I had a meteor crash into my bedroom while I was looking at a porno magazine! The radiation somehow turned me into Misty Mountains, the stripper I'd been looking at in the magazine!", she giggled.

"You seem...remarkably well adjusted!", I blurted in confusion that anyone could ever get used to having tits that big!

"Oh I'm not always like this!", she laughed, "I'm something of a sexual vampire. I can return to being a man by transforming one man every month or so. The poor men I prey upon become Misty as well, and end up suffering as I do.", she shrugged.

"How many different ways can a man get turned into a woman anyway!", I snapped, "I've seen were-Marilyn Monroes, magical transformations, weird space radiation turning a guy into...a stripper vampire....what else!?", I screamed.

Crowley smirked her ruby red lips and then clapped me on the back, "You've barely scratched the surface my dear! But now is your turn to speak to the ladies!", she laughed.

"Yeah Jimmy, let us hear your story!", Trevor laughed as she swayed up in a Wonder Woman costume!

"Wow!", I gasped.

"Easy blondie, you're every bit the sexpot I am!", she chuckled, "And at least I'm wearing clothes!".

I frowned, "I really don't want to talk guys, I'm more interested in checking out all the weirdness!".

Suddenly John/Anna Nicole jiggled over, "Did you guys see me light up Houston for thirty last night!?".

"Damn right!", a tall black woman answered from behind us, "After I got done with my shoot I went to the game! Man you lit Merkins up!", she laughed.

"John, what exactly do you do when your team is suppossed to play under a full moon!?", I asked her.

She chuckled, "That's when my hamstring starts to act up, sure I miss a few games, but when you hit fifty three percent of your three pointers the team understands!", she said with a grin.

"What the hell happened to me!?", a small teenager screamed as she appeared out of nowhere. She couldn't have been more than fourteen I realized with a start.

"You pissed off the wrong girl it appears.", Mort smirked from beside her.

The girl looked down at ten-year old Mort and snorted, "Listen brat, I'm a guy! This shit can't be happening!", she snarled.

Mort growled, "Kids! No repsect for their elders! Hell, even my own kids treat me better when I'm like this!", she spat.

Crowley spoke up, "Hello Kurt! I see that your prank on that high school girl backfired!", she laughed.

"Who the hell are you!?", the new girl snarled. "I KNOW you!", I gasped suddenly, "You're Kurt Nelson, the quarterback of Midwest College!".

"So.....why am I a girl!?", she snapped at me. Crowley grinned, "You remember Jeanette Sonnin? She was the flat-chested girl you guys made fun of last semester.".

"What, this is revenge!? All I did was sabotage her science experiment....hey, she had big breasts!", she snarled.

"Had!", another girl snapped, "Your little prank caused my potion to shrink them!".

"Crowley? I thought only sex changes were permitted here?", I asked. "Jeanette was once a guy named Johnathan. He was turned into a girl by eating a contaminated Twinkee.", Crowley said with a smirk.

"A Twinkee!?", I laughed, "Just when I thought things were getting serious!".

Jeanette, who had absolutely NO breasts now, frowned, "A buddy of mine dabbled in magic, unfortunetly he left a Twinkee out where one of his sucubbus could bespell it....and when I ate it....wham!...instant babe!".

"You're all nuts!", Kurt growled, "Now turn me back or somebody gets hurt!".

She disappeared in a flash, leaving everyone stunned that Crowley would give in so easily!

"Wait! I returned Kurt to his dorm room, male as before. But there's a surprise waiting for him. A pack of Twinkees, the special-turn a guy into a bombshell blonde-kind!", she laughed.

"But won't he remember not to eat them?", Jeanette asked. "Nope. I've blanked his memory of ever being here..and he'll only remember being a female as a nightmare!", Crowley/Marilyn laughed again.

"Damn contaminated food!", the black woman growled, "A lesbian sorceress spiked my Big Mac, turned me into my own inner sex fantasy! Hell, a guy's not even safe at Mickey D's!", she yelled.

"Ah know what ya mean!", a red-head with a Southern accent laughed, "Ah went ta eat at Hooters, but a terrorist group spelled the place ta turn any guy into one of them there Hooters gals!", she snorted.

A woman so impossibly sexual as to make me wish I'd had my penis at the time spoke up, "I was transformed by a urinal!", she growled.

"I have GOT to hear this!", I laughed.

She frowned, "A guy I knew wanted the same girl as me. He went to the bathroom and spelled the urinal to change me into...this. Imagine my shock when I flushed it and turned into a babe in the men's room!", she groaned.

I couldn't help but chuckle, I'd never look at a Big Mac...or a urinal the same way again!

"Time to go James!", Crowley said. She turned us into the thunderbolt again....and MISSED the house!

We reappeared outside the front door, me still looking like a stripper and nude to boot!

She grinned at me then opened the door sheepishly. "Explain something Crowley! You've got a ton of power yet you act like a ditzy moron whenever you use it!", I snapped.

She shrugged, "What can I say, we all make mistakes....you'll find that out!", she laughed while disappearing...only she pulled me partially with her!

I suddenly remembered what Crowley had said when I'd bitched about Gina making me look like a stripper....it could have been worse. Well as I looked out at the crowd of horny guys drooling over my naked body as I appeared on stage I realized....THIS was WORSE!!!!

I'll bet you've had a better week than me! It al started few days ago when my girlfriend Gina got pissed at me and transformed me into a female version of myself for a night. As I sat they after the change a thunderbolt blasted through the roof and was revealed to really be a babe named Crowley! She was the head of a support group called Gender Benders Anonymous and a were-Marilyn. You see Crowley was a male Senator who turned into Marilyn Monroe under the full moon! She took me to visit the meeting room where hundreds of guys-turned-girls had gathered.

When I asked Gina to change me last night she turned me into a blonde stripper! To make matters worse Crowley accidentily?...I hope...dropped me on stage at a strip club...still female and naked!

"Shake it baby!", one guy whistled.

"Come on sweetcakes!", another laughed, "Take those hands off your tits, we won't bite!".

Suddenly I heard a crack of thunder and Crowley appeared before me, with a look of mischief on her face that made me want to deck her.

One of the men grabbed Crowley from behind and I waited for her to turn him into a turtle or something....but she bit his hand instead.

"What the hell!?", the man gasped in a throaty female voice. He was changing...into Crowley's twin!

He staggered backwards as his breasts swelled to a point where his shirt buttons popped. His waist slimmed so fast that not even his wider hips kept his pants and shorts from falling to the floor. Long, blonde hair grew down her back until it reached her shapely ass. Finally her groin followed suit, changing into a female form.

"I love doing that!", Crowley laughed. She teleported us away with the thunderbolt trick, blasting another hole in the roof. At least I wasn't the ONLY one she owed repair work to!

Gina was waiting up for us and grinned when I appeared with Crowley beside her.

"How'd it go big man!", she laughed.

"Fine, if I wanted to take up a career as a stripper!", I snarled. Crowley started to turn into a thunderbolt again until I snapped, "Oh no you don't! Take the front door, I've already got three holes in the roof!".

She smirked then blasted out through the closed door, leaving me with a another hole...this time in the front door!

"Gina! Turn me back before somebody comes to check on us!", I snapped.

She chanted and I felt myself swelling in size, the feeling of transformation never dissapointed! It was as wild, as sensual, going either way. To feel a penis swelling out of your vagina is a wild feeling!

Sure enough a cop was at the door in a few minutes, apparently having been called by one of our neighbors.

He was an older guy, maybe fifty or so, but seemed okay, save that he was near three hundred pounds! I suddenly spotted him eating something, a Twinkee!

I could feel the magic coming off them and coughed, "Uh, Officer Howard...if I could...where did you get those Twinkees from?".

Gina gave me a what-the-hell? look but I didn't want to talk about the cursed Twinkees until I was sure.

Howard frowned, "Got them over at Midwest College. We got a call from one of the RA's that they found a woman unconsious in one of the rooms. She was wearing men's clothes, but seemed out cold. We took her to the hospital. Anyway there was this whole box of Twinkees there, well I gave some of the other cops some then kept these. Why the heck do you need to know....man I feel weird...", he groaned.

"Oh shit.", I said with a groan.

The cops hair was the first to change, turning platinum blonde and growing past his suddenly narrowing shoulders. Even as he realized that his uniform burst open as a HUGE pair of breasts popped out of confinement! His waist shrank and hips swelled wider, making his gunbelt hang from them. She was an incredibly hot babe...and just seemed to be noticing that!

"What the hell...I'm a woman!", he/she shrieked in a high female voice.

"Try to calm down!", I snapped, then realized how ludicrous that sounded.

"Calm down!? I've got tits!", she snapped. I grabbed the box of Twinkees and threw them away, "Those Twinkees were cursed. Any man who ate them was to turn into a gorgeous woman. A friend of mine made them to punish a college guy. He was the woman you guys found at the college!", I observed.

She slumped, "What am I gonna tell my wife! I look like I'm barely old enough to drink and I'm a woman!", she sighed.

"Gina, show Mr. Howard what I looked like last night.", I said. When I felt my chest tug outward, flesh pooling there and at my hips, I knew she was changing me. See, now listen you can stay here with us today and tonight I'll talk to that friend about changing you back!", I said in my female voice.

I looked outside and saw the sun rising, Crowley wouldn't be changing until the next full moon, I only hoped that he still had magic when he was his normal male self!

I slept late that day, having stayed female so that Officer Howard, Gilbert she'd said her first name was, wouldn't have to worry about a man being around.

Gina shook me awake about ten and I frowned, "What's so important that it couldn't wait a few hours!", I snapped in annoyance.

She held the morning paper up so that I could see the headline, "Area Police Officers Transformed into Women!!!".

I grabbed the paper and read the article then threw the paper aside, "Ten cops! Ten of them turned into babes, and that's NOT counting Gilbert!".

Gina smirked, "It could have been tainted donuts, then we'd have had an entire police force of women!".

I rolled my eyes, even daylight was getting weird nowadays!

I frowned at Gilbert as she came out of the shower naked. Gina had turned me back into my male form and seeing the platinum tressed beauty before me stirred my male desires

Suddenly I heard the rumble of thunder and an older man appeared next to me, having done the exact same thunderbolt trick as Crowley.

"Crowley?", I asked, "Is that you?".

The older man smiled, "Yes James, this is the real me! Senator Crowley at your service!", he smirked.

Gilbert screamed in shock that two men were looking at her newly female body and slammed the door.

"What's up, I didn't expect to see you until the end of the month!", I asked him.

Crowley frowned, "The Twinkee incident seems to have started a whole chain of problems! Let me bring those affected here so that you can learn of this!", he said urgently.

To my shock Heather Locklear appeared in front of us, dressed in only lingerie.

"Now where the hell am I!?", she snapped. "Tell us who you are, and how you turned into a character from Melrose Place.", Crowley instructed.

She sighed, "My name is Lucas Sallons, I was an actor who made a deal with a demon. He promised me a spot on Melrose Place, one of the choice roles. He delivered all right, by turning me into Heather Locklear!!", she snarled.

"Always did hate demons.", Crowley frowned. "How can you guys know what I'm feeling!", she snarled. Her mouth dropped open when we both started laughing uncontrollably.

Gina walked out of the bedroom in only her panties and gasped on seeing Crowley's male form and Heather Locklear herself.

"Tell me I'm not staring at Heather Locklear James!", she shrieked. "Yes...and no. She was a man, let's just say she's the newest member of our group.", I explained.

"Group!?", Lucas/Heather spat, "What the hell are you talking about?".

"Here's my card.", Crowley handed her one of his GBA cards. "Gender Benders Anonymous!?", she gasped, "You mean...this..", she pointed to herself, "Has happened to others!?".

"Yep!", Crowley smirked, "I myself am a were-Marilyn Monroe, meaning I change into her under the full moon.", he said calmly.

Lucas fainted from the shock I guess and Gina frowned, "This place is NOT going to become a halfway-house for gender-bent guys!".

Suddenly Crowley's beeber went off and he turned to me, "Can I use your phone...heck hold on. He clicked his fingers and a cellular phone appeared in his hand. This is Crowley what....", his face seemed to deflate even as I watched.

"What!?", I screamed at the same time as Gina. Crowley frowned, "Let's just say it's bad! It appears that the entire New York Jets team are...well turned into teenage girls! They were suppossed to play the Broncos this week but their owner tried to cheat by having a wizard bless them with good luck. Their owner skimped though by bringing in a kid sorcerer and having him read a prepared spell. The caster apparently misread the last word from luck...to...well...fuck. Since he was a teenage boy in his mind blessing them to a good fuck meant turning them into girls!", he groaned.

Gina broke down laughing at the thought of a bunch of huge men turned into slim girls.

"I've got to go James! Try to take care of Lucas there until I return!", he yelled while blasting out the window.

"At least when he's a guy he uses the window!", I scoffed. Gina chuckled, "Yeah, a shame he didn't OPEN it first!". I rolled my eyes, at this pace Crowley would destroy my house in a another week!

I clicked on the football game that was in my market, the Rams/49er's game and watched my beloved Rams get creamed for most of the first half.

At halftime I watched a commercial and frowned at it's wording. "Strong enough for a man, made for a woman.". I groaned, this one even I could see coming.

Crowley returned a few hours later and sighed, "Well I managed to set up their curses so that they're male during the season. As soon as they play their last game of the year it's back to being a teenage girl! Actually I think the Jets might be pretty good this year with that kind of motivation!".

I grinned, "You wouldn't have say...made a bet that they'd make the playoffs...would you?".

He smirked, "I got 100 to 1 odds!".

"So how are things here?", he asked.

I groaned, "Gilbert, that's the cop that ate your bewitched Twinkees, she's watching the game with Lucas in the front room. Amazing that football makes everything seem right for a while!", I laughed.

"Hey, the next full moon is on a Monday. We always have a hell of a party while watching the game!", Crowley laughed.

"Oh shit!!", I heard Gilbert scream from the front room. When we got into the room only Gilbert was there, with no trace of Lucas.

"Where did Lucas go!?", I snapped at the blonde babe that had been a cop.

"Uh.....in there!", she pointed...to the TV!? Melrose Place was on, and Heather's character was getting all hot and steamy with a guy. As usual she was in the process of taking of her clothes. Then the screen went dark and Lucas appeared next to me in only a bra and panties!!

"Ug! Jesus! I kissed that guy!", she spat in disgust. "Wait a minute, you mean you were...in the television!?", I gasped. "A taped episode I believe, let's test that.", he put a tape in the VCR and when Heather appeared on the screen Lucas was gone.

As Lucas' luck would have it it was a sex scene, and she was as naked as prime-time allows in bed with a man!

Crowley clicked the machine off and Lucas appeared beside me again, only this time naked and sweaty from sex!

"This is a nightmare, I only wanted to be famous!", she sobbed while falling to her knees.

Just then a man walked out of the kitchen, wearing Gina's panties. He WAS Gina!!

"Damn!", he snarled, "What was in that chain letter!? I burned it and turned into Mr. Adonis!".

"What's that ripping sound?", I asked suddenly. Gilbert gasped then pointed, "Um...James...I think it must have been addressed to you as well!".

My tits were the cause of the ripping...wait...my TITS!!!!! As my T-shirt lost it's fight to restrain my suddenly huge chest my pants also shredded due to my hips widening at a quick pace.

"I was afraid of this! It appears that I might be losing control over it.", Crowley groaned.

"Losing control of what!?", I snapped.

Crowley sighed, "It is this.".

He produced a bra, one made for a very large breasted woman...kind of like me.

"You're telling me that all this gender changing is being caused by...a bra!?", I chuckled.

"Not just any bra, there are only ten like it in the world. They are the symbols we chose to confine much of the world's gender magic in ten years ago. They were stolen by a gang of feminist witches, and with their influence gender alterations are spiraling out of control!", he explained.

"Why not just steal them back!? You seem to be pretty powerful!", I snapped.

"Put it on, that will tell you why.", he said firmly. The bra was snug against my huge breasts, but when I clasped it I became charged with power. I felt like a goddess as I floated before them!

I restored Gina to her own form with a thought but when I grabbed Lucas' spell I was transformed.

My head elongated even as my arms and legs were pulled into my skin. I could feel myself shrinking but I was blind to the world.

"Oh God Crowley!", I heard Gina cry before my ears disappeared, "He's turned into a tampon!".

"Damn demons!", Crowley snapped.

I was blind and deaf to the world for over ten hours until I found myself kneeling on the carpet before Gina, who was wearing the bra of power.

"What the hell happened to me!?", I growled at Crowley. Gina coughed, "You turned into...a tampon.", she was trying not to laugh.

"What!?", I gasped.

Crowley sighed, "Demon's magic is always unpredictable, when you tampered with it you must have set off a trap spell.", he explained.

"So I'm stuck!", Lucas sobbed as the realization hit her. "We'll have to stop those witches James, they'll just keep tampering with the natural laws of gender!", Crowley snapped.

"What the heck can WE do!?", I growled, "Gina has magic and so do you, I'm powerless!".

"Not when you wear the bra.", he grinned. "Wait....I don't want to be a....damn!", I was the blonde stripper I'd been recently, only this time I'd have to remain her for some time!

I suddenly remembered the commercial I'd seen at halftime of the football game, "I think I know what product they'll tamper with next!", I realized.

"And what would that be?", Gina asked.

"That deoderant that has the strong enough for a man, made for a woman commercial! They surely can't

resist it!", I clapped.

Gina rolled her eyes, "It's a woman's deoderant genius! Men won't be using it!".

"Oh.", I realized with a groan.

"Crowley, are you sure that these bras are the trouble, I mean Lucas' was caused by a demon! And Gilbert and those cops were changed by your Twinkees!", I pointed out.

Gilbert got up looking pissed, her breasts bouncing about as she ran towards Crowley, "YOU were the one that bespelled those Twinkees! I'll kill you!".

Crowley turned her into a kitten with a gesture, then frowned, "That was unfortunate. Now that I think of it you may be right, very few of these recent changes were malicious, save for the demon!".

Suddenly the magic bra, which Gina had given to me upon my change, disappeared...but I could still feel the power coursing through me!

"What happened!?", I gasped in shock.

Crowley groaned, "It appears the bra has bonded with you, this will give you all it's power....but keep you stuck as you are!".

I cupped my now naked breasts and almost starting crying, "I'm a woman forever, and a stripper no less!".

Gina kissed me, and watched her breasts inflate until they matched mine. She had my exact body shape, although she retained her facial features, skin texture, and hair color.

Crowley frowned, "I was afraid of that! Anyone you touch will gain a shape similar to yours in endowments, even men!", he groaned loudly.

The next day I got into my car and drove to the gym downtown where my Wonder Woman buddy worked. Although her name was Trent once she now went by Diana.

I hated how I was dressed, namely in Gina's leotard that seemed stretched to the limit by my breasts and buttocks! When Trent saw me she grinned, recognizing me from the last meeting when I'd worn this shape.

"James!", she laughed.

"Hi Trent.", I said rather gloomily.

"Why the long face buddy?", she asked in concern. Suddenly I felt someone pinch my ass! I whirled only to see a man holding the hand he'd pinched me with away from him as it changed. Already he had long red nails, slim fingers, and less hair on his arm.

As he screamed in shock and backed up breasts began to grow under his sweatshirt, even as his bicycle shorts began to strain as his hips grew wider and a small male ass ballooned into a full, round posterior! His hair grew down to his new ass even as arms and legs rearranged themselves, causing him to fall painfully. The now female man was unconscious, her long brown hair having fallen across her face.

"James!? What the heck did you do that for!?", Trent gasped. I backed up as a crowd gathered, having seen the man change they still didn't have a clue how. I took Trent into the locker room and spoke, "I'm bonded with a magical bra, it gives me a power similar to Midas!", I groaned.

"You mean the mythilogical king that turned anything he touched into gold?", she asked.

"The same. Only mine is more of a Wide-Ass touch. Everyone that touched me or vice-versa gets transformed into a version of me! Fortunetly for that guy it only lasts twenty-four hours!", I sighed in relief.

Suddenly I saw a woman walk in, looking for all the world like Lisa from Weird Science, a TV show that I liked.

"What's going on here Trent?", she asked the taller woman. "I've told you not to call me that in public! You're lucky James here already knows me!", Trent snapped.

"James!? You mean she's a guy....like us?", 'Lisa' said in shock. "Cursed bra....it's a long story!", I groaned, "How did you get like that?".

She sighed, "I was watching TV Saturday night in Cleveland at the frat house I lived in. A bunch of us were watching Weird Science when a bolt of lightning hit the house. All ten of us were turned into Lisa, I guess really Vanessa Angel, the lady who plays that part. I don't mind though because I've got her zap powers, Lisa's I mean!", she laughed.

"All ten of you!?", I gasped, "I couldn't even begin to imagine that kind of power in the hands of a college kid, much less ten of them!

"No, no!", she laughed. "We share the power usually, but since I was coming all this way to St. Louis the guys decided to give me all the power! So until I go home I'm a real-life PC genie!", she laughed.

"Lisa here is actually my kid brother Ronnie.", Trent sighed, "He knew who I was, before I turned into this.", she indicated...her changing body!

I watched in shock as Trent grew right out of her leotard into a tall, muscular behemoth! She was thrilled to be a guy again!

Ronnie smiled, "I thought I'd give you a day as your old self bro, unfortunetly the spell will fail sometime...I don't have any idea when though.".

Trent picked up his female brother in his strong male hands, "Thank you Ron! It's been so long! I mean...I like being a woman now and all but a part of me misses being a man!".

Ronnie tried to zap me but it bounced off and hit another woman outside the door. We gasped as a young woman of perhaps twenty bulked into a man, before the stunned crowd outside.

"Teleport us to my house, I'll tell you where!", after I gave Ronnie the coordinates we all dissappeared in a flash of blue sparkles.

We appeared in the bathtub, as goldfish!! The PC genie couldn't use her powers now unless she wanted to fry us so I used my own new powers. But all I could so was turn me and Ronnie into mermaids and Trent into a merman. We were quite entangled in the tub until Ronnie flopped out. We followed suit and she zapped us then, we each received quite a shock since we were still wet but we were restored.

"You could have waited for us to dry off!", I snapped at Ronnie. "No shit!", Trent groaned, his hair standing up like Don King's. "So there you are!", Gina snarled from the door, "Bringing more I see!".

"Wait Gina, this is Trent, he's usually a ringer for Wonder Woman. The babe over there is Ronnie, his little brother and now a PC genie like the one on Weird Science!", I explained.

She sighed and walked out whispering, "Why me!? I'm just a nice, normal witch!".

I walked downstairs with them to find Gilbert munching on a donut...and a man again!

"Gilbert!? You're a guy again!?", I said in wonder. He grinned, "Crowley turned me back after you left. Lucas was a little pissed though.".

"Where is she?", I asked the chubby older man. "In the jacuzzi with one of her boy toys.", he said while pointing at the TV.

Sure enough there was Heather Locklear in a bikini that left VERY little to the imagination, cuddling up to a younger guy in a jacuzzi.

"I'll bet she's pissed.", I groaned.

"Probably. I'm taping the game for her though, Packers/Eagles should be pretty good!", he said pleasantly.

Suddenly there was a deafening boom and a gorgeous woman stood before us, wearing one of the magic bras!

"Where is Crowley!?", she snapped.

I saw Gilbert reach for his gun but the woman threw something sparkly, it looked like dust, onto him. There was a POOF! of displaced air and a small, winged woman fell onto the chair in his place. She couldn't be any bigger than a Barbie doll and looked for all the world like...Tinkerbell!!

"Let me guess.", Trent mused, "Pixie dust?". "Yes fools! Now turn over Crowley or I'll transform you all...all...ehhHAW!", a donkey finished her speech amidst a burst of blue sparkles. The beast looked around in confusion and wanted clearly to attack but couldn't figure out exactly how to move this huge form well.

I reached down in front of the donkey and scooped up the bra that had snapped off when the woman had grown out of it by making an ass out of herself.

"Thanks Ronnie, I don't think I could have defeated her since she was likely a witch before putting on the bra.", I explained.

"No problem!", she laughed, "I'll teleport our friend here to the local petting zoo!", she chuckled.

The witch-turned-donkey vanished in Ronnie's power. I sighed as Gilbert fluttered over my head, now a female pixie perhaps six inches high. Then I saw Trent turn the TV over, something Crowley told me never to do when Lucas/Heather was in there....and the new channel was the Cartoon Network.

The blue Smurf with blonde hair appeared before us, perhaps six inches tall and..well..a Smurf!!!

"Oh shit!!!", the sweet, obnoxiously so, voice screeched. I groaned and turned to the bar, I needed a drink!!!

"Oh! She's so cute!", Gina laughed at Lucas' newest form. "I'm a goddamn Smurf Gina, I'd have rather stayed as Heather!", she spat.

"Watch the language, little kids look up to you...well down on you!", Ronnie laughed.

"Seriously James, can't you change me?", the Smurfette asked me with those big eyes and that screwy sugar voice!

"The last time I did that I ended up as a tampon, no thanks!", I laughed. Besides I was hooking the second bra on to increase my power. It seemed that Crowley's enemies knew he came here, well now they'd find me and Gina ready!

I suddenly felt as if my mind was being ripped apart and my body passed out...even as my mind wandered free.

I was drawn to a nearby hill, almost a pull really. There I found a skinny little teenage boy aiming some sort of device at a pair of lovers.

"Man!", the boy giggled, "I can't wait to be Mark, then I'll have Nina as my girl and everyone will like me!", he seemed giddy with success.

I groaned, if I was being drawn here by the bra's power then this kid's plan was about to fuck up something major.

"Hey, don't do it!", I screamed. But he couldn't hear me or see me, I was like a damn ghost in this state!

The kid activated his device and his mind swapping device lashed out at the man, until the buxom young woman named Nina rolled on top! I saw the girl spasm even as the boy did, then the girl screamed in shock at being a woman, being naked, and being on top of a naked man!

I saw the kid's nerdy body scream out then run towards them. "Danny!?", the muscular man named Mark gasped as the kid ran awkwardly towards them.

Danny got up off of the man she'd wanted to trade bodies with, somehow she was in Nina's! She ran to the machine even as her old body, with Nina within, plastered itself against the stunned Mark.

"No! It's broken!", Danny screamed with Nina's voice. Nina must have broken it accidentily as she flailed about in panic. Worse, he couldn't remember how to fix it!

Crowley appeared before the bodily displaced boy and sighed, "Not another one!".

"What!?", the new Nina gasped, "This has happened before!?". Crowley smirked, "Happens all the time kid, now you've lost the knowledge to repair your little toy. Don't worry though, we protect our own in the GBA!", he laughed while leaving the new woman a card.

I rejoined with my body at that time, just in time to see Crowley appear beside me.

"James, you're getting too powerful for your own good! Any high class sorcerer could have sensed you on that hill. Only they might have trapped your spirit in an animal form, hell maybe in a rock or something!", he scolded.

"Hey I didn't do it on purpose!", I snapped. By now the second bra was absorbed into my form as well, so I was standing there topless before him.

"I know, I know.", he sighed. "Listen, there is something that has come to my attention. A gang of sex-changing punk sorcerers have opened a brothel in town. They're turning men into women then making them choose to live as women with no life to support them...or work as prostitutes!", he growled.

"Well, why haven't the police done something!?", I snapped. Gilbert, still a pixie but seemingly growing, spoke up, "We tried. They keep moving their operations...and a few cops are now trapped there as part of the brothel!".

"This shit never lets up!", I groaned.

Crowley grinned, "If it did life wouldn't be any fun! Let's get going, I've got....", suddenly he was cut off by the loud screeching of tires.

I opened the door in time to see a tractor-trailer skid to a halt at the intersection near my house. When the door opened a HUGE breasted woman stumbled out looking dazed...and wearing men's clothes!!!

"You've got to be kidding me!", I screamed, "Now what possible reason could there be for THIS guy to change!?", I asked Crowley.

The truck driver staggered towards us, her extremely large breasts and wide hips making it hard for her to walk, not to mention the fact that her Levi's were shredded and her shirt had popped open.

"Help!", she screamed, "I couldn't make it through that red light!". I think everyone present went..."Huh?"...at the same time. "I'm under a curse from my old school librarian! She was a witch and found out that I still had a book from when I was in elementary school! When I told her she was an old prune and drove just like a woman she cursed me. Whenever I see a yellow light I turn into a female version of myself. But when I see a red light, like now, I turn into a bombshell blonde...and I lose a lot of my masculine desires!", she cooed the last to Crowley.

"What's your name?", I asked.

She looked back at me, "Travis Benning. Oh man, this isn't good...I'm getting very turned on looking at you mister!", she cooed again to Crowley.

When Crowley disappeared her mind returned, "Thanks! I turn into a nympho whenever I see a man, that's why I tend to take the back roads. Or just drive at night so that I can ignore the lights!", she sighed in frustration.

"What happens when you see green?", I asked. She turned and sure enough the light was green, and her form shifted back into a man!

"Your curse isn't so bad!", Trent snorted, "You change back easy enough!".

"Says you! I'm a damn stripper in some towns, at least I have been! I lose all control when I see the red!", he growled.

"Why not return the book!?", I asked.

"I can't find it! I tried to buy a new one but she insisted on the original!", he sighed.

Suddenly Lucas smirked, "I know how to get restored!", she laughed. Travis just looked in shock, "Is that...a Smurf!?". I smiled, then realized he was looking at my breasts, "Hey Travis! Quit the peep show mentality! You're a woman yourself sometimes!".

He grinned, "Sorry, I don't get to see many naked blondes like you....when I'm a man anyway!", he laughed.

Gilbert suddenly fell to the carpet male again and full sized, appartently the pixie dust was only temporary.

"LA! LA!LA!LA!", I heard from the front TV. On screen I could see the Smurf that was really Lucas laughing and singing so sweetly that I almost passed out from sugar shock.

I clicked the remote after popping in one of Gina's Melrose Place tapes.

As soon as I turned the VCR on I gasped...it was one of my porno movies from a long time back, one with a very large breasted red-head. I started to turn the VCR off and change channels until I got Melrose...but the power went out!!!

"Jesus! That was truly disgusting!", Lucas spat in a seductive female voice.

Lucas was now a buxom red-head who'd just had sex, and really needed a shower to wash something off that I really don't want to mention.

Ronnie seemed to stop glowing, since Lisa was a PC genie she needed electricity...and there was none with the power gone!

"Attention earthlings!", a voice called from outside. "Now what!?", I snapped.

Crowley appeared as I looked out the door, "I'd say this is pretty serious...wouldn't you?", he sighed.

I just gaped at a massive alien spacecraft looming over our city, this looked like Independence Day!

"Men of Earth, prepare to be transformed into our harem!", they boomed.

Then, as it looked like everyone might join the GBA, a huge figure appeared. Was it God? Well not unless God was a twenty-six year old guy in a Hard Rock Hotel shirt!

"Okay, that's enough! This story has gotten weird enough on it's own without you aliens sticking your head into another story! Besides, didn't I have you all turned into women in Brave New World?", the god-like creature asked the bewildered aliens.

"We are another invasion force...what did you say...women!? Let's get the hell out of here!?", the aliens screamed.

In a flash, they were gone back into space, and the god-like entity loomed over us.

"Okay, as for you ladies I think it's time for the next full moon tomorrow!", it laughed.

Crowley gasped, "But the moon won't be full again for another week!". "Hey, are you writing this!? Now listen, this tale is stagnating without the GBA members, it's a hell of a lot easier to introduce new ones in that way!!", the god growled.

"Sorry!", Crowley gasped.

"I'm outta here, got to work tomorrow!", the god laughed. As he disappeared I turned to Crowley, "God has to work tomorrow?".

I waited as the moon rose full in

the night sky, just as the God had told us the day before. I have to admit even for me that had been strange!! Now I sat with the crew that now inhabited my house waiting for Crowley to appear as he...she under this moon I remembered ...always did.

"And how are we doing at the halfway house!?", Marilyn/Crowley giggled as she appeared, dressed to kill and smiling from ear to ear.

Gilbert frowned, "I'd like to see this, but I'm not a woman.". I thought of the woman the Twinkees had made of Gilbert and sent the spell and the male cop became a blonde bombshell female again.

"Hell James, maybe you should lead the GBA now, you're probably more powerful than me with those bras!", Crowley laughed.

"Just do the thunderbolt thing, we've got a meeting to get to!", I urged.

"No...wait! Use the door first....shit!!!!", Gina snapped as we all bolted away via Crowley's power. I suspected that I'd have yet another hole in my roof due to that.....but with my new powers that wouldn't be a problem!

We appeared in a large house, not where the normal meetings were held. But I saw the ones that I knew, Trent....now back to looking like Wonder Woman, his kid brother Ronnie, a dead ringer for a babe named Vanessa Angel. I also saw some of the others, the were-Anna Nicole, the black guy who'd been transformed by a tainted Big Mac, and others. Then I saw Mort, dressed in jeans and a shirt but still a little girl....but that would be changing tomorrow when the teacher's strike ended.

I saw a plain looking woman standing beside the little girl, and both wore wedding bands! This made my relationship with Gina pale in weirdness. While I may be a woman, and I guess a lesbian to society...I'm still physically an adult. Poor Mort not only changes gender but becomes a little kid as well.

"Hey there James!", Mort called upon seeing me. She wolf-whistled in admiration until her wife smacked her on the head.

"You're stacked Jimmy!", she chuckled, again receiving a slap on the head.

"Child abuse!", Mort laughed.

"Wait until tomorrow Mortimer, then I'll really get to smack you around!", the little girl's wife laughed.

"How do you guys cope...with the change I mean?", I asked. The woman looked thoughtful for a moment, "Well, it's certainly not the sex!", she laughed.

Mort frowned, "I'm pretty darn manly when I AM a man!", she huffed. "Hey dad! I'm leaving!", a teenage girl called while bounding down the stairs, "Then she saw the weird cast assembled and smirked, "On second thought this looks weird enough for me!".

The girl shimmered for a moment and became a huge stereo!? The massive speakers blasted to life and the meeting turned into a full-fledged party.

I stood stunned at the girl's instant change until Mort spoke, "Don't freak Jimmy, Brenda here is a witch and the two girls each inherited shape-changing powers. Only they can take inanimate shapes as well!", she giggled.

Crowley swung by to say hello then took all the first timers up on stage. I noticed Gilbert, Travis, Lucas, and Ronnie were amongst them.

Suddenly the wall exploded and a group of bikini clad blondes raced in. They threw bikinis at everyone, and those that were hit were chesty blondes in the tiny outfits.

"The Finland Bikini Team!", Crowley gasped. "I thought it was Swedish.", I smirked.

"This is serious, our friends are all now mindless beach bunnies!", she gasped.

I was suddenly wearing one of the tiny bikinis and felt my mind diminishing even as my breasts grew and my hair grew even longer.

"Oh yu gonna regret that, I promise yu!", I snarled in a Finland bimbo voice. My power bras blasted the swimsuit off and I faced five of them.

Suddenly they shimmered and became California type babes, pointing ray guns!!

I was blasted by them and instantly became a Valley Girl. "Ohmygod, like this is so totally bogus!", I giggled, "Let's go to the mall!".

Crowley and Ronnie were hard pressed to stop the shape-shifting invaders, especially when they all turned into the most evil creature in the world. Ten Madonnas stood around them, blasting them with song after song until it seemed that even Crowley might succumb. Then the Marilyn Crowley lashed out by killing the power to all their lip-synch records! The defeated Madonnas melted into puddles even as I recovered from my shopping spree mania, thankfully we hadn't been near a mall and I didn't have the credit cards!

"Crowley!", I snapped, "Who the hell were they!?". "Bimbo sorceresses, apparently the Sisterhood of the Bra wants us defeated.", she mused.

"Sisterhood of the Bra...you mean like the one that I'm wearing!?", I gasped.

"The same. There are eight of them now, and it seems they want your two.", she said again in a low voice.

"Capture them!", another woman screamed. They opened what seemed to be Playboy centerfolds and everything went black.

I awakened staring at a wall covered with centerfolds...of my friends! There was Crowley, Trent, Ronnie, Gilbert, all of the GBA...except Mort and his family. I couldn't move anything and felt strange, like I had been transformed again.

<James, I'm over here.>, Crowley said to me mentally. I stared at the naked Marilyn centerfold, who seemed to be posed, <Are we all centerfolds!?>, I thought back.

<Yes.>, Crowley "sighed", <I was wrong, this is not the Sisterhood of the Bra but the League of Redneck Centerfold Collectors!>.

<What?>, I said in total disbelief.

<Redneck sorcerers who can shape-shift when drunk. They must have turned into women then attacked us to get your bras...and Centerfold us!>, she sent back.

<Well how do we get out of this!?>, I mentally snapped. <That...is a good question.>, Crowley replied.

I couldn't move as I remained frozen in the centerfold, only Crowley seemed able to do anything and her mental powers wouldn't free us.

"Hello yall!", an overweight man missing three front teeth slurred, obviously drunk.

Crowley thought to me, <I have a plan James! I'll mentally command this moron to free us, the beer in his system should make it easy!>.

I saw the man suddenly stagger then reach for the remote control on his belt. He pressed a button and all of us that had been centerfolded, namely the entire GBA, fell out of the posters and into a pile on the floor.

Crowley's Marilyn body then stirred and I realized that his link had been broken when his body had hit the floor, I'd have to stop the man before he....

"They're free! Get yer asses in here!", he yelled. Well, so much for subtle. I lashed out with my bra-given powers and the beer-swiller began to change. His arms and legs were drawn into his body even as his insides liquified. His torso had swelled into a barrel shape and turned metallic and his head seemed to be shrinking into a small plastic pump on the top. Within a minute a huge keg wobbled where the man had been.

Trent just gaped for a moment then looked at me, "You turned him into a keg!?", she gasped.

John laughed, "What kind of beer!?".

"Whoooeee! Look at that keg!", one of our captors whistled while seeing the huge beer-filler barrel.

"At least their damn swimsuits were erased when they centerfolded us!", Gilbert snapped.

"Let's turn them into women before they get us!", Dave yelled while advancing.

I stopped her with a hand then explained, "We can't. They're protected by powerful magic beer, it took all my power just to change that one!".

"So let's get the hell out of here!", the new girl, Danny snapped. "How? We'll have to wait to see if my plan worked.", I said firmly. Crowley threw a lightning bolt at the wall and it fizzled, "James is right. The walls are spelled against magic, we'll have to figure another way out. Now about your plan, what is it?".

"Let's just say the beer they're drinking is a new brand, Babe Beer!", I laughed.

Ronnie frowned, "But you just said they were protected by their beer, how will it affect them!?", she asked.

"I transformed the guy into the beer, this beer should overpower even their protection since it will be inside them...I hope!", I groaned.

Suddenly the wall was bashed in as a.....tank!...came through. The hatch opened and a little girl wearing an army helmet and smoking a stogie chuckled, "You ladies look like you could use a hand!".

"Mort!", I laughed, "Where the hell did you get a tank!?". "It's my daughter, told you she could change into inanimate objects, that includes tanks!", the little girl chortled.

"Hold on there yaall, we got somthin to say about this!", one of the Rednecks snapped.

Poof! The man was gone in a flash of smoke....and Miss Alabama, in full dress and sash, appeared in his place wearing a huge smile.

"That wasn't suppossed to happen.", I said in dumb wonder. Crowley smirked, "Mixing magics my dear usually leads to strange complications."

Another Redneck was now Rosanne Barr! Oh the humanity!!! They were changing into various women, some superbabes like Cindy Crawford or Claudia Schiffer, others into Miss Piggy!?, Madonna, and the Golden Girls!!

"What have I done!?", I gasped.

"No time to feel sorry James, just try to remember what they did to us!", Crowley explained.

We stepped outside and Crowley teleported us all back to Mort's house, leaving the various female Rednecks to their fates.

The huge throng of women appeared, mostly naked, back at Mort's house.

"Well this has been fun!", Mort's wife chuckled, "I hope our insurance agent puts this under act of God!".

Crowley gestured at the collapsed wall of Mort's house and it was repaired.

"How come you never fixed my roof that way!?", I snapped at her. She grinned, "Where would the fun have been in that! That reminds me, now that the meeting is over you'll need a ride home!", she laughed.

"No!", I snapped but before I could protest further Gilbert, Travis, Lucas, Ronnie, and myself were swept up in the lightning bolt that Crowley used.

I reappeared spinning wildly, surrounded by clothes...damn it seemed hot in here! Then I looked out the window of this sphere...I was in the damn dryer! After making sure that I didn't lose my lunch due to the spinning I kicked open the door, mercifully stopping the machine.

I got out groggily, feeling very...very dizzy. Then I heard someone beating on the lid of the washer. I pulled it open and Gilbert spat out a mouthful of water and gasped. She'd apparently been put through the rinse cycle.

"Crowley!", I snarled, "Where the hell are you?". "Um...Miss?", a man coughed from behind me. I spun to see a college guy all but drooling at my naked female form...I'd forgotten that I was bare ass naked! Wait...why was he in my house!?

"What are you doing here!?", I snapped.

"Um...this is my dorm lady....what are you doing here...unless you came in answer to my prayers!", he laughed.

I snorted, "Not likely kid! Besides you don't want to touch me.", I explained.

Gilbert got out of the washer dripping wet, and as naked as me. She spotted the drooling guy and snapped, "Don't you have something better to do!?".

The guy chuckled, "Better than seeing two naked babes, NOT!!!", he chuckled.

"I'm gonna kill Crowley!", I snapped while moving past the kid. He grabbed my shoulder, probably to come up with some other line....but my magical curse immediately affected him. His hand was already female and the effect was spreading.

"I told you not to touch me moron! Well at least it's not permanent!", I groaned.

Gilbert was watching the guy change, breasts inflating even as the rest of the man's body changed gender. In a few minutes the guy was similar to me in breast size and body shape.

"Jesus!", she screamed, "What the hell did you do to me!?". "Chill out kid, it's only a twenty-four hour thing. It should open your eyes a little!", I laughed as I started to leave the laundry room.

"Hey James! How about we wear clothes!", Gilbert yelled. Wearing oversized men's clothes we walked off campus then realized that it was a three-mile walk to my house! Neither of us had any money with us or car keys, hell we couldn't even take the bus!

"You could teleport us James, Crowley said you had as much power as him..her...whatever!", she pointed out.

"I'll try, I only hope I don't fuck up!", I groaned. We vanished as I concentrated...only to reappear in a dark apartment before a small nerdish looking guy.

"My summons has worked!", he laughed.

"Somehow I don't think we're in Kansas anymore Toto!", Gilbert sighed.

"What summons?", I asked him.

"What!? You should know demon, I brought you from the pit to serve me!", the man snapped.

I sighed then exchanged glances with Gilbert, "Uh huh...so 'mighty one' what did you want?", I asked with a bemused look.

"Revenge on all of the people who pick on me! I've studied the art of demonology in hopes of gaining some measure of power but I've succeeded beyond my wildest dreams!", he cackled.

I chuckled, "Kid, grow up! We're not demons....hell if I told you who we were and how we got here even you would laugh at me!".

"Silence demoness! Serve me as I asked!", he snarled. "How about I kick your ass!", I snapped. "You cannot go outside the circle! Serve me before I return you...you...", he stopped as I stepped over his pentagram.

"See genius! Now I've got to go, since you've been SO kind here's a little gift!", I chuckled.

"Twinkees! That's all I get!", he snapped. "Oh you'll get something else, it ought to change your life in fact!", I laughed.

As we disappeared I heard the kid's shirt rip, he'd taken a big bite of the Twinkee and was getting real big in the chest even as I left. Served him right!

We appeared in my home at last, only things seemed strange...kind of cartoony!

"James is that you?", I heard Gina call from the kitchen. When she walked in sporting a two foot tall bee hive and looking like Marge Simpson I did the only thing my overstressed mind could do...I passed out.

Before I went out I heard my own voice....male that is....exclaim..."Doh!".

I hoped that this was some weird burrito caused dream, otherwise Gilbert and me were now in the Simpsons!

"She's a babe man!", I heard some teenage boy chuckle as I woke up. "Shut up Bart, stupid kid!", the me that looked like Homer snapped. "This is not good!", Gilbert snarled.

I groaned and sat up, only to have Marge/Gina ease me back down, "You shouldn't push yourself, you just stay there and relax.".

"Who are you babes, did I win the PlayPen contest!?", Bart asked. "We're outta here, no place can be weirder than this!", I laughed. We disappeared again, to appear at the Los Angeles Coliseum...as cheerleaders!!

I looked down at my tight white halter and black shorts, in each hand I held a pom-pom. Fortunetly nobody had seen our appearance and now they assumed us to be real cheerleaders.

"Wow! This is the Raiders/ Chiefs game!", Gilbert gasped in wonder. "Hey! Unless you want to play cheerleader all day I suggest you get over here so we can leave again!", I snapped.

As I started the teleport magic I heard someone yell, and when I looked up the football hit me square in the face! I staggered in pain, letting the magic run wild in my confusion. I teleported all right...along with three Raiders players that had been near us!

When we reappeared I immediately realized what I'd accidentily done, namely taking three pro football players on this wild joyride!

They were all linebackers and glared around in anger, looking like they wanted to tear somebody's head off for this....hopefully they wouldn't think of me being responsible.

Then I looked closer at our surroundings, and recognized them immediately..we were on the Starship Enterprise, this was Star Trek!

Then I noticed something very unfamiliar, namely a huge-breasted Vulcan at Spock's station! Nor was I alone in my shock at this.

"Spock...you're..a...woman!", Captain Kirk gasped , puncuating every word with emphasis.

"This is quite illogical.", the chesty Vulcan gasped in a honey-like voice.

"Intruders on the bridge!", an ensign snarled at us. "Uh oh, better...", my words were cut off by the blast of a stun phaser that knocked me out.

I woke up hours later to see a kindly older man looking down at me....Dr. McCoy!

"Easy there little lady, you got blasted pretty good.", he cautioned. "Where are my friends!?", I gasped.

"Um...well, I'll let the captain explain that. He wants to speak with you about his...condition.", McCoy said in obvious discomfort.

A little girl, dressed in a much smaller version of Kirk's command shirt, stormed in.

"What..have..you...DONE..to....me!?", she said, clenching her fists with each word.

"You're Captain Kirk, but you were normal before I got blasted!", I yelled in confusion.

"When the ensign blasted you some weird glow emitted from you and you transformed everyone on the bridge into women!", the little girl Kirk snapped.

"Well technically you're a little young to be a woman.", I pointed out.

She snarled, "I'm going to shoot you out a torpedo tube!". McCoy stopped her from biting my knee.

"So about my friends?", I asked again.

The little girl frowned, "They were kidnapped while we ran about in confusion. The Klingons took them, although it seems the men with you went willingly. They also took Checkov and Sulu, although as transformed as they were I couldn't tell you which is who now!".

"This is NOT good! I have to get home!", I groaned. "We're chasing their Buzzard of Prey now, the U.S.S Centerpiece will not yield!", she yelled.

"What!? Kirk what are you talking about!?", I yelled in confusion. "Reality changing captain.", came Spock's new voice from the door. "Homina...homina...WOW!!!!!", the little girl Kirk gasped at her first officer's luscious female body...clad in only a string bikini.

"Spock! Why are you strutting around half-naked like that!?", McCoy gasped.

"It appears to be beyond my control doctor. Until I put it on this had been a full-sized officer's uniform...now you can see what it became.", she said with the slightest frown.

"This is my fault!", I groaned, "Just by being here my weird power is changing everything, that means gender-bending on a massive scale!".

Suddenly a balding, older man appeared before us. I'd seen him before as well.

"Where the hell...Q!", he snapped.

"Jean-Luc Picard! Oh this is getting better by the minute!", I snapped.

Then a buxom black woman appeared, wearing a captain's shirt! "Who the heck are you!?", I blurted.

"I'm Katherine Sisko, captain of the Defiant Voyager, and I'll ask the questions since you're on my ship!", she snapped.

"There is no such ship, we have a Defiant and a Voyager...but not one ship with both names!", Picard snapped.

"Where the hell are we!?", Kirk, Spock, and McCoy all yelled at the same time.

I now knew what was going on, since I was a casual fan, at best, of the two new shows Voyager and Deep Space Nine my mind was blending the characters into one show....I only hoped that the Enterprise crews were unaffected.

Those hopes were dashed when Picard and the little girl that had been Kirk merged into one form. James T. Picard looked around in shock. Next to me I saw McCoy grow sizeable breasts and long red hair. Beverly "Bones" McCoy seemed equally surprised to be off her ship.

Spock, who'd already been transformed apparently didn't merge. She remained the buxom female she's become.

"Death Star approaching!", Kira Reicker gasped while racing into the room.

"Death Star! Oh no, what else am I going to drag into this weirdness!", I groaned.

Suddenly a dark, menacing....four foot ten figure...appeared on a ....skateboard.

"Surrender man!", Bart Vader laughed through his mask. "Enough! This is my universe...created by my powers! Everybody back where you belong!", I snapped. My powers began to right this rapidly strange universe...until I sneezed.

I realized things HAD changed....now Beverly Sisko, a lovely black woman with long red hair, stood before me looking more compassionate than Katherine Sisko had.

"What the hell!?", she gasped suddenly as Benjamin Sisko's mind regained control...at least SOMETHING had worked right.

Kira Picard, a bald female Bajorian stood there feeling her hairless head in shock.

Also now in the room were Odo Torres, a shape-shifting Klingon female that seeemed stunned to even BE female!

Deanna Bashir, a buxom Betazoid female that was now a doctor gasped at her large breasts.

Tasha Worf, a seductive blonde Klingon female screamed in shock at her sex.

Data Dax stood transfixed as she came to grips with being an android! Katherine Quark was a Ferengi female, with a human body...but naked as all Ferengi females had to be, and she quickly screamed upon realizing this.

"Um...I'm sorry guys, I'll fix this later...I hope!", I said while teleporting away.

I appeared on the Klingon homeworld, where I saw Gilbert watching thousands of buxom Klingon females doing the Macarena...nude!

"I don't even want to ask!"I groaned.

Gilbert turned and I sighed, her hair was in the bun fashion of Princess Leia from Star Wars and she was wearing the tiny little slave outfit that character had worn in a movie.

"It's about time!", she snapped." I get captured by these huge alien guys who paw me the whole trip, in between playing dodge ball and tag. Then we land here, they all turn into buxom females and that damn Macarena song starts up again!", she howled.

"Where's the football players?", I asked in confusion.

Gilbert frowned, "The Klingons betrayed them and used the transporter to....it's too horrible!", she screamed.

"Oh God!", I gasped upon seeing the changed players run out of the ship.

Oprah Winfrey, Ricki Lake, and Sally Jesse Raphael in football pads.....those evil bastards!

Suddenly there was a flash of lightning and Crowley/Marilyn appeared before us, wearing an X-Men type superheroine costume.

"Been having fun!?", she giggled.

"Quit joking! How did you lose us!", I snarled. "My dear, we were launched into a comic book universe! Only I have successfully left it to rescue you.", he explained.

"Can you change these three back into men?", I asked while pointing at the talk-show hostesses.

"Your power has warped this universe James, I can't affect that.", she said firmly.

I pointed at the three former men and they changed....into sharks! "You're going in the right direction, that is a step up.", Crowley observed.

I pointed again and they were Raiders again. Satisfied with myself I failed to notice the fact that they had each grown long cat tails and fur, hey they were guys, that's what I was shooting for.

Crowley took a look at the naked Macarena-dancing Klingons and smirked, "Apparently your imagination has caused far more changes than mine did to the comic book realm, although you'll be able to compare...away we go!", she laughed while teleporting us all out of this weird-filled world....and into another!

Crowley caused us to appear in the middle of the so-called Danger Room. This was out of the comic book X-Men! I'd wondered exactly why she'd been wearing an X-Men uniform, now I knew...she'd heisted it!!

"So how exactly did this world get messed up by you Crowley?", I asked.

The Marilyn/ Crowley blushed then pointed behind me. "She's back!", a woman yelled, "She's the one to blame for all of this!".

I turned and nearly fell over upon seeing a group of volumptuos women, who'd apparently been men!

"Oh no, let me guess....Ex-Men!", I groaned. "Grrrarrr!", Wolverina, the buxom feral former man called Logan snarled.

I teleported out of the way of her and watched Cyclops, now a sultry twin to her lover Jean Grey, lash out at Crowley with a blast of energy.

"Crowley! Get us the hell out of here!", I snapped. Suddenly a blast of magic hit all of us, ballooning our breasts to mammoth degrees even as hair grew like a cape.

"Not so fast ladies!", the caster of that bolt, a chubby man in his thirties laughed, "I am the Editor! And I've decided to do this as a Bad Girl book, after we make you over a little more!", he laughed.

I felt my ass grow bigger, my tits as well. The glorified bikini I now wore was going straight up the crack of my butt, yet I could only pose provocatively.

Crowley blasted us free suddenly, catching the all-powerful Editor by surprise with her power. I lashed out at him as well, rearranging him into another form.

"No!", he screamed as his breasts grew. His hair turned blonde and grew down to an ass that had plumped in the last few seconds. Huge, pendulous breasts hung unsuspended from her chest...for a moment.

"I am Bimbette, Queen of the Bad Girls!", she yelled now. Crowley turned Asian before my eyes, and then our memories were affected.

"Crow Li!", Bimbette snapped.

"Yes my goddess!?", the buxom oriental woman asked while bowing. "You are from beyond my dear. Take my ideals to your world, change those men who won't serve you!", she laughed.

"What of me mistress?", I ask while bowing. "Flames, you....er...someone has opened the book!", she gasped. Thanks to that Crowley, Gilbert, Ronnie, the Raiders players, and myself all fell out of the comic, nearly squashing a young man beneath our combined weight. Unknown to us, the spirit of Bimbette had possessed the man. In less than a day she would have transformed him into a woman, had he not already been one!

I saw that he seemed to be a man, but my hand was on a very large breast where none could be seen.

"Get off me!", he...she screamed.

"Are you a man or woman!?", I asked in confusion. "Both!", she snorted, "I can't understand why you see me male but can still feel my breasts...that's never happened before!".

"How did you gain the power to gender-change?", Crowley asked while fishing for a card.

"I found a genie's lamp! I asked him to be incredibly attractive to the opposite sex. When my girlfriend walked in I swelled into a muscular behemoth of a guy. I assumed the genie had done as I asked...and he did...only I left him a loophole and he used it. Later that day I was walking home when I noticed I was being whistled at...by a man!

I called him a fag then turned around...then my illusion fell away and I saw myself for what the man had....a red-head with 44 DD boobs in a halter top and bikini bottom!!

I managed to jiggle home, now the object of lusty stares from every guy I came across.

I rubbed the lamp but the genie didn't come out, then I saw the insciption on the side....Trickster.

Crowley started in shock, "The lamp of the Trickster!", she gasped, "I'd heard that it was lost! It gives only the one wish, and usually turns out bad for the wisher...unless they are very wise.", she mused.

The man who was now changing into his female form spoke again, "So now I'm the muscular guy around the ladies....and miss silicone tits around the guys!".

"That explains your illusion of masculinty now. We are women physically but mentally remain quite the men we once were.", Crowley explained.

Suddenly a buzzer went off on my wrist...my watch! It was nine in the morning...wait....if it was daytime, why was Crowley still Marilyn!?

She seemed to follow my gaze to the window, then down to her full breasts and still very female form.

"I....can only assume that being outside of reality when the moon went down caused me to remain in my cursed form...unfortunetly the next full moon isn't for a week!", she groaned the last.

"Well, Gina's going to be worried sick Crowley, let's get home!', I snarled. It was bad enough that I was stuck as a woman forever, now my wife would be pissed by my staying out all night, even if it was due to two attacks from magical entities.

"Very well, I will come back to see you Jeremy!", Crowley called to the man while vanishing in the lightning bolt, and blasting through the comic shop's roof!

We appeared at home, exhausted from our wild journey through the TV and comics. I wanted to sleep for a week when Lucas called out from the front room.

"Guys...I think you'd better see this!", she yelled in her Heather Locklear, apparently Melrose had been on while we were away, voice.

We ran in, assuming another attack. Then we saw her pointing at the television.

On the screen was Deep Space Voyager.....the title alone made me groan...apparently my little trip had altered things in television land. An all-female crew..., most of which seemed to be former men from the old, pre-amalgamation show were on the screen, showing a LOT of flesh for the cameras.

I slapped my head then trundled off to Gina and bed, in that order. As I closed the bedroom door I yelled, "Don't anybody wake me up! Not even if we get invaded by aliens...again!".

Epilogue: Lair of The Pimp, a powerful sorcerer. "What have we here.", the overweight fat man everyone knew as the Pimp chuckled.

A man was being dragged into the room by two muscular Latinos. "Oh Ramond! And I thought you agreed to repay me!", the Pimp laughed. "I did!', the man screamed, "These two punks stole it!". Suddenly the man heard clothing beginning to rip and assumed that it was him being transformed...but it was his captors instead!

The Latinos were now Oriental women, although far more curvaceous than most Asians.

"I knew they were lying Ray. Now get out of here before you join them!", he snarled.

As the man ran off the Pimp laughed, no one could stop him, what with his new powers and disco shoes. Soon they would regret laughing at him as he boogied on the dance floor.

Gender-Benders Anonymous! copyright 1996 by Eddie Glover.